Grandparents love to be included in the rearing of their grandchildren. But relationships are not always perfect. Misunderstandings are bound to happen. And if not properly discussed can lead to throbbing altercations that could have been minimized if rules and boundaries were established beforehand.
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Lack of Respect
Conflicts arise when grandparents and parents don’t respect each other. Grandparents may think that they know better and are more experienced with child rearing. And unconsciously, might be too aggressive in sharing their ideas to the new parents. When parents feel that their own parents are overbearing, they will become defensive and eventually will limit the babysitting. I’m sure none of us wants that to happen.
Food and Drinks
There are parents who have strict rules when it comes to what their children can eat or drink. Of course, with the consideration of allergies, both parents and grandparents should come to an agreement and set limits. It’s true that, as grandparents, we love to spoil our grandchildren from time to time. But we should also take note that they are our grandchildren and not our children unless you’re the sole guardian.
Families with different spiritual background have different beliefs and practices. Some celebrate Christmas while others don’t, and the list goes on. The important thing is respect and acceptance. I mean you respect other people’s privacy, right? It’s just the same thing. Yes, some of their religious practices can be illogical for you, but it doesn’t mean you have to enforce yours.
How to Spend the Holidays
With two sets of grandparents, it can be hard to choose where to spend the holidays. Which side of the grandparents should we go too? Will the other side of the family be offended if we celebrate on this side of the family? As parents, we should make it a point to reach out to our own parents and tell them the plan. And as grandparents, it’s our duty to be happy for our grandchildren and children whatever the decision may be – there always going to be a time for you, so just be patient.
When it comes to discipline, there is only one authority. And that is the parents. What grandparents can do is to maintain the rules and regulations their adult child has imposed. If you believe that it’s too much, you can tell the parents but never in front of your grandchildren.
The Other Grandparents
As grandparents, we need to understand that our grandchildren are not ours full-time. They have another set of grandparents, too. But feelings of being left out are common if you are living in another state. However, with proper planning and scheduling, vacations can be arranged – always. Another thing, you don’t have to be left out with your grandchildren’s milestone, since it’s now very easy to use social media to share photos and videos.
Grandparents Please Remember…
A conflict can always be resolved with communication. Both parties should be open to corrections and should work together to create a healthy relationship. Be willing to do your best to promote peace, don’t say anything that can provoke anyone in the family.