Grandparents are an important part of the family. No matter what, no one can change the fact that they are your grandparents, and they’re always there for you. However, this statement also makes them just a bit too meddlesome sometimes. To a point where they’re already making significant decisions, ones best left to parents.
And, we just can’t make them stop with their interfering. Maybe it’s our kind nature that can’t tell them to stop, or maybe it’s just because we are afraid to destroy the well-established relationship. Nonetheless, there is a point where you have to stand up and tell it like it is.
We all know that they’re doing this out of love, but they should also be aware that there are certain limitations. If you have a grandparent that’s almost taking total control of your life and overriding your parent’s jurisdiction, it might be best to let them read this article. Or, if you’re a grandparent, here are a few limitations that you should know.
Discipline – Grandparents Should Not InterfereCredits: Adobe Stock
Let’s start with the most complicated and most common issue we have with grandparents, discipline. When it comes to correcting a child, the parents have all the rights, period. There are instances where a grandparent may take control, such as sleepovers or if both the mother and father aren’t around. But when they are around, grandparents should not utter a word on how the kids are disciplined; they should not side with the child nor side with the parents. They need to keep silent and neutral. If the grandparents have any suggestions or opinions, talk to the parents discreetly. Or, just don’t at all to be safe.
Schooling – Another Off Limits
When talking about how the child’s education, most grandparents have an opinion, they are eager to share. However, it should stay as a suggestion. It is the parent’s choice where his/her child gets a formal education. They can opt for public, private, or even homeschooling as long as it is of their own choosing.
The only time grandparents may have this particular right is when they are also contributing. If the grandparents are the one paying for the education or if they are the ones picking them up at school, they have a strong influence on this situation. If not, then they should limit themselves to show up during special school programs. Helping out with homework is also highly appreciated.
Grooming – Don’t Take It Away
Sometimes, grandparents are intervening way too much when it comes to grooming. They override the parents chance to buy their kids the new clothes they prefer or choose their child’s hairstyle. One of the most frequent conflicts between parents and grandparents are about different tastes and styles. It may be a petty issue, but it is annoying and can grow to be a bad habit.
Ideally, grandparents guide their children with their experience, they don’t take control. New parents have yet to experience the obligation and responsibility of providing and choosing what’s best for the child.
I know grandparents are participating in nurturing the child for the better, but let’s just keep it to things like buying toys and books which probably is a safer route than enforcing the best hairstyle. Or, if you want to give new clothes, ask the parents for preference and to avoid any conflict – you don’t want to see the newly bought clothes at the back of the drawer.