Self-Compassion is something that many of us forget about. We let people get away with hurting us in all sorts of ways. But when it comes to us, we beat ourselves up notoriously. There is an illness in this world called Toxic Shame Syndrome. In Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw PhD of Human Psychology, he believes that over 70% of Americans suffer from it in one way or another.
What Causes Us to Beat Ourselves Up?
It’s that internalized shame and guilt that mean people have. Eckhart Tolle calls it a conditioned EGO. And NLP calls it bad programming or conditioning of the unconscious mind. It’s that feeling of guilt and shame that people have because of past experiences, failures and societies standards.
Let me make something very clear: there is nothing wrong with you. You cannot be broken. You may be injured and require healing, but there is a part of you that can never be tainted and never be tarnished. It’s that part of you that is your true self, and it doesn’t matter what’s happened to you. Your true self is always there with you.
Self-compassion is understanding the art of forgiveness for yourself. The real forgiveness comes when you understand, that there is truly nothing to forgive. It’s part of the human experience to hurt one another from time to time. It’s part of the human experience to fail. Failure is actually just feedback. It’s how your brain learns. Every time you fail, you learn what not to do.
Failure is Needed to Succeed
Your brain literally needs to fail its way to success. This is true on every level of life. Self-compassion comes in your understanding, that you are perfectly, imperfect and allowed to make mistakes. It’s society that causes you judge yourself and to label yourself. When in all actuality, all the things you beat yourself up for, are gone.
The past and the future are both constructs of the mind. Neither truly exist. The only thing you can be sure of, is that right now is happening. And in each moment, you have the ability to let go of everything that’s ever been done to you, or that you’ve done to anyone else.
As Jesus said, “Let the dead, bury the dead.”
Leave the past behind you, and accept yourself as you are. Love yourself in all your faults and failures. Appreciate your body, warts, scars, defects and all. There is a power in you that can never be broken. It is your true self and it is always with you, loving you, guiding you and helping you along the way.
The human condition is to feel pain from time to time. I assure you, through meditation, and practices of self-love, you can wake up one day, look in the mirror and see the truth about yourself.
You’re Not Here By Chance
Your place in this world, in this universe, is not by chance. It’s by choice, it happened by the choice of consciousness. The one thing that binds us all. It’s in everything, in each of yourself, always working to sustain you with life and help you grow. You are not just a part of this universe. And you are fundamental to the very existence of the fabric of space and time.
Without you, none of this would exist. That is how important you are, so maybe it’s time to stop beating yourself up for doing things. Embrace your imperfections and allow yourself to be a human, doing what humans do best. Living life, making mistakes and achieving great things.
Treat Yourself With Kindness
It’s never about the failure, it’s about how you treat yourself after the failure. Instead of beating yourself up, love yourself. Be compassionate the way you would be to your best friend in a similar situation. And ask yourself, what can I learn from my mistake? How can I avoid it next time?
There’s this journey that each of us are on, and it’s called life. No one’s journey is better than any other one’s journey. The divine plan was created for each of us to operate as a symbiotic organism, in this place we call earth.
Love yourself fully in every minute, and if no one has told you they love you today. Well, I love you and its time for you to let go, move on, and give yourself credit for how far you’ve come. Namaste my brothers and sisters.