You look into each other’s eyes and experience that first tingle of anticipation and then, you feel something more. A fear of love ripples through you and your heart freezes in an instant. It’s that fight or flight moment. What is it to be?
Do you really have a fear of love?
If you have been single for a while and, have experienced some romantic traumas in the past, you may have unknowingly put up so many barriers that your heart is protected completely. This is understandable. Romantic pain hurts like hell and we all have a responsibility to protect ourselves. Perhaps your previous relationships were turbulent or even abusive, it’s hard to get past that but the alternative is that you stay alone. You need to consider if this is what you want. If not, how do you move beyond a heart that is so well protected that no-one stands a chance of getting anywhere close?
When you have been badly hurt, you start to mistrust everyone. It’s only those that you know well who are allowed into your close social circles. But these may just be friends and so, they do not generate the same inner fears in you. These days, it’s easy to meet new people in a romantic sense, but, there’s a speed at which people connect and this may be okay for those with open hearts and who have positive experiences in the love game. But, if your heart is bruised, or still mortally wounded, this rush to be a couple, probably isn’t going to do you any favors.
Lowering the barriers
It sounds easy to consider lowering the barriers but how do you know that you are lowering the barriers for the right person? Love is a gamble. We all know this. So, of course, progress in the love stakes needs to be measured. Letting someone into your life is as scary as hell and it is always going to take a while for you to trust, but the right person will understand this. You can let it develop slowly if you need to. Don’t be pressured.
Always remember however, that you have control. If you don’t like the way any relationship is going, you don’t have to stay, and you certainly don’t have to give your heart to someone who is not fully deserving. There can be a fear of love because handing the keys to your heart and happiness is akin to giving up control, but, you don’t have to relinquish control of your life.
Conquering your fear of love with meditation
If you have embarked upon a romantic relationship of sorts, you may have experienced that frisson of fear as you gazed deeply into each other’s eyes. Although this is on an emotional-level, you may well have experienced it as a very real physical reaction too. There may be deep, festering wounds within. If you did not work on resolving fears or former wounds, they will still be present. If you buried these feelings, know that they can manifest at any point.
You must decide; do you face your fears or do you walk away? Do you live with the regret of maybe or, are you absolutely ready to give love another try? Having a fear of love is a big deal, it’s super-scary but it’s a fear that only you can overcome. Fortunately, there’s a solution. Meditation can help you to overcome these destructive inner fears.
Practice this fear of love meditation
When you start meditating, it’s good to have a very clear idea as to what you want to achieve. In this case, let’s consider it a meditation to start letting go of some of the barriers around you. All you need to do is commit to this meditation and practice as often as possible. Open your mind to the possibility of love. It’s a good thing, right?
Once you are within the meditation, visualize your new love interest and note that you are holding hands and walking in a beautiful scenic place. You feel comfortable and relaxed within this visualization. Let the scene play out naturally, visualize a protective blue energy around you, and know that this is all the protection you need. Lower any barriers. If it helps, you can visualize a drawbridge coming down and your new love walking across the drawbridge to greet you. This helps because you have chosen to lower the drawbridge and therefore, retain control. As this happens, tune into your emotions. Connect with that inner you. If any fears well up within, let these thoughts dissipate in front of you and inhale deeply.
On the exhalation, visualize any remnants of fear drifting away on a breeze. Keep the visualization strong and positive. Focus on the good feelings only. Follow the two of you as if an observer and notice how happy you look. As your fears start to fall away, you give yourself up to the moment, you look relaxed, younger than ever but glowing with happiness. You deserve to be happy. Tune into this romantic connection and know that whatever happens, you were open to it developing naturally. You did not block the experience and you feel good about this.
Know that you can expand this meditation to suit your needs. Be creative when you meditate and choose those topics that mean so much to you. Meditation really helps the healing process. It enables you to identify and heal inner traumas in a safe environment. At the same time, you become more peaceful and more comfortable in your own skin. The more you practice this ‘conquer your fear of love’ meditation, the more able you will be to attract the right people to you. In time, happiness will flood through you.
It takes time to trust and hey, there’s no rush, right? Gradually, your fears will dissipate, but, make sure you are making the decision to let someone close for the right reasons and not one that is fueled by the fear of being alone either. It’s very easy to feel isolated and lonely and to hug misery to you. For this reason alone, it’s easy to attract the wrong people into your life.
Use this meditation to help you to overcome your fear of love, but, where there are other issues such as dealing with rejection, guilt, regrets or, heartbreak, you can heal these wounds too. So, take your time. Meditate, heal and blossom. You deserve to attract love and in time, you will.