Relationships can be destructive by nature and not all are loving and giving. Emotional abuse has the power to destroy someone from within the relationship and is far more common than you might think. Words become weapons and the resulting wounds go deep. Recovery takes time but, meditation can heal.
Emotional abuse is another form of bullying
Many people suffer from emotional abuse, but they just don’t realize. It can happen to you, to your friends, to family members or the person down the street. It is a sneaky, manipulative act that usually, but not always, takes place behind closed doors. Emotional abuse happens gradually. It’s often not apparent at the start of the relationship, but can suddenly appear without warning once deep feelings have developed. Why? Because once emotions are deep, it increases vulnerability.
Both men and women suffer from this type of abuse, but they may not label it as such. If you have suffered from this type of toxic relationship, you will know that it is easy to make excuses. You try to compensate for this type of behavior. You blame stress at work, financial problems or wonder if something else is going on. Often, the abused partner starts to feel that this change of mood and behavior has happened because of something they have done. This is key because often, the abuser is the one who manipulates the situation. It’s clever.
Abuse – is not one size fits all
There are many variations of emotional abuse and it’s not always easy to detect. Whether it is the first time it happens or, it has happened many times, there is often disbelief. Emotional abuse may take the form of intimidation and threats, so, there can be fear of physical abuse even if this does not actually occur. Living with the threat of fear is significant. Or, it can be as cruel as making that person feel so bad about themselves or, they talk down to them in front of others adding embarrassment into the equation.
Criticism is a common form of abuse. Even if said with humor, intent is deliberately cruel. When it becomes obvious that the criticism has been taken to heart, which was the intent all along, the abuser denies it and may appear shocked, hurt or accuse their partner of being paranoid. It’s a clever game and the only loser will be the innocent person in the relationship. They don’t know what to believe or what they have done. They are caught up in a maelstrom of emotional turmoil.
Why does someone abuse?
Emotional abuse is all about control. The aim is to impact self-esteem and to erode confidence, they love the feeling of power over their partner. They know by the tears and questions that their partners have lost control. There are many ways that they can do this. Sometimes, they ask their partner’s opinion as if caring about the outcome but, will often, make them doubt their opinion or mock them, disputing what is said. It is not always what they say but how they react or look. Guilt is another weapon that is used regularly.
If any of this sounds familiar, it is likely that emotional abuse has taken place.
Escaping emotional abuse
When there is so much negativity and cruelty, there’s no doubt that it can take strength and courage to get out of this type of relationship. It also takes a lot of time to recover from it. Fortunately, there are many self-help techniques which can pave the way towards healing, certainly counselling can be extremely useful but, meditation is available to all and is powerful and natural. The power of thought will kick-start the healing process. It will also repair any psychological damage inflicted over time.
Free the mind
We all strive for inner peace and it’s needed in an age where life is highly pressured. Of course, with all the general stresses of the day, it can be hard to accept that a loved one could deliberately want to spread poison into the relationship with the intent of causing pain. Home is supposed to be a safe place. Your partner is supposed to love and support, not cruelly destroy everything you have.
It’s important to free the mind from any anxieties or discomfort. But, when emotional wounds go deep, it can be difficult to let go and find a sense of peace. Instead, the mind is bombarded with thoughts and questions as to why it has occurred. This is one of the hardest parts of the recovery process because any type of abuse makes no sense at all. Equally, there can be no peace until difficult emotional issues are considered and dealt with. This takes time.
Deeply buried emotions will cause inner conflict. Meditation improves clarity of mind and defuses self-doubts. It also aids the quest for inner contentment. It can help to halt self-doubts, inner conflict and turmoil and enable each person to find that space within the mind where there is freedom from the harshness of reality.
When there is bitterness, anger and resentment, it is all too easy to focus only on these negative emotions. Meditation helps each person to rise above these raw emotions so that the mind does not automatically turn blame back on them, but, accepts the situation without judging themselves harshly. It is of the utmost importance that they realize they are not to blame for their partner’s abusive actions.
It can take weeks or even months for guilt to dissipate. It can take even longer for them to completely deal with the add-on issues that occur. These include anxiety relating to the possibility of attracting a similar type of person later. When meditating, the focus is on positive thoughts and clearing the mind. This alone helps the person to feel better.
Practice makes perfect
If there is little experience with meditation, then, it will most definitely take time to learn the techniques, but this does not matter. Even attempting to meditate is a positive step towards taking back control of your life and with this, comes a sense of achievement. After a while, there will be the first glimpse of inner peace that may have been frustratingly elusive for a long period of time.
Any new skill takes time to master and, it can be useful to try guided meditations in the first instance. There are many pre-recorded guided meditations available so choose one most suitable for you. Being able to relax and to sleep is important especially in the early stages of recovery. The positive messages within the recording start to embed within the sub-conscious mind forming new foundations of change.
Remember, it may have taken months or even years for the damage from any emotionally abusive relationship to have completely broken down the foundations of confidence and self-esteem and so, it will take time to rebuild them. Trust that recovery will occur through the regular use of meditation.
Affirmations are crucial in the healing process. They work beautifully with meditation and inner healing and are powerful statements of intent. Personalize the message so that there is greater meaning. Repeat them morning and night.
Statements should read in a similar way to these.
- I am strong
- I am powerful
- I am a good person
- I deserve peace and kindness
- I am recovering
- I am healing
Affirmations are written with conviction and work best when repeated often. They are certainly worth using on their own and within a meditation session. Many guided meditations also contain affirmations but if you are meditating without help, just include these types of statements to consolidate the healing message.
Letting go of the pain
One very difficult component to recovery from emotional abuse is letting go of the pain caused and of course, the fear of what is to come. Even after escaping from such a toxic relationship, the future can seem a frightening prospect. Fear can have a crippling effect on anyone.
Forgiveness is a crucial element to recovering from this sort of damaging relationship and it is hard to forgive someone who may have destroyed your confidence levels and self-esteem. Survivors of emotional abuse often feel lost and lonely and a fragment of their former self.
Emotions experienced include:
There are no shortcuts to recovery and the process is different for each person, therefore, it is best to take an intuitive approach to healing. Escape from the situation and then look forward, welcoming in the healing process each day. It is best to secure the foundations of change first and gradually, the future starts to look brighter. This leads to a time when the bad memories start to fade.
Meditation enables healing from the inside out. It can relax, aid deep sleep and help the recovery from emotional turmoil and improve awareness and self-belief. It affords clarity of mind. Meditation is such a powerful resource when practiced regularly. There is always a way back to full emotional health.