When Should Grandparents Expect Respect From Their Grandchildren?



grandchildrenTo say that grandparents are shocked at the language our adult children use casually, pales in comparison to listening to their grandchildren. It goes without saying that today’s discourse is a bit harsh. Speech isn’t the only element of today’s parents that has grown lax. 

When children are raised in a household where they run the household, it’s hard to stay in sweet grandma mode. It makes you slip back into Mom mode. Someone needs to be spanked.

That doesn’t mean you can’t expect respect from your grandchildren. In fact you most certainly should. 

Susan Adcox writes,

“It may not be advisable to require “sir” and “ma’am” if the parents don’t require it. Grandparents do not have to tolerate backtalk from grandchildren, although they should discuss how to discipline the grandchildren with the parents before taking any action.

Collateral damage may occur when grandchildren are on the premises, but grandparents can and should insist that grandkids show respect for their belongings. It’s a good life lesson, and somewhere down the line a spouse, roommate or friend will thank you for teaching it. That does not mean that you come down hard on a grandchild who has an accident and breaks something.

When your grandchildren are very small, you’ll have to make a decision: Do you want to put some belongings out of harm’s way, or do you want to teach the grandkids to leave them alone?

Chances are that you’ll make the same choice you made when your own kids were small. On the other hand, maybe your more relaxed attitude as a grandparent means that you’ll want to put your treasures out of reach so you don’t have to worry about them.

People are always more important than things, but some things make our lives easier or richer. There’s no reason for a grandparent to sit idly by and see them damaged.”

When grandchildren show respect for grandparent’s home, is also showing respect for their grandparents. 

Because they are so dear to us, we can tend to look the other way. That might be a good idea some of the time. And certainly with some situations. However if we set the bar for our expectations our grandchildren will live up to those expectations. 

Although, we never want to set them up for failure. Toddlers don’t respect property, but older children certainly can understand. 

How we speak with respect to our grandchildren, even when that is not in the realm of the world they live in, they respond. It’s never out of style to model, and expect good behavior, polite speech and respect. It’s just really rare these days. Who knows, maybe we can bring it back in vogue.