Top 10 Funny Sheldon Cooper Quotes

By Miranda Moore | Monday Monday Staff -    2016-10-08


Since I am doing a quotes list, I decided that each character will get two lists. One for funny quotes and the other for more touching, sentimental quotes. These quotes were picked by me by using the quotes section on the Big Bang Theory’s site. These are not a reflection of the fan base, just my opinion!

From the episode The Extract Obliteration:


10. Leonard: I did a bad thing.

Sheldon: Does it affect me?

Leonard: No.

Sheldon: Then suffer in silence

Why I picked it: I love how it showcases Sheldon’s biting wit. Of course, it also shows his stand-offish side as well.

From the episode The Opening Night Excitation:

9. Sheldon: Then it’s settled. Amy’s birthday present will be my genitals.

Why I picked it: I don’t think anyone thought that Sheldon would ever utter a sentence like this. Until Amy came along. It’s just so blunt and honest too.

From the episode The Jiminy Conjecture:

8. Raj: I don’t like bugs, okay. They freak me out.

Sheldon: Interesting. You’re afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Why I picked it: More of Sheldon’s biting wit and man that was a well thought out burn.

From the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis:

7. Sheldon: Oh gravity, thou art a heartless bitch.

Why I picked it: It’s funny and extra bonus for use of a Shakespearian word. I am an English major.

From the episode The Staircase Implementation:

6. Sheldon: This is the temperature you agreed to in the roommate agreement.

Leonard: Aw, screw the roommate agreement!

Sheldon: No, you don’t screw the roommate agreement. The roommate agreement screws you.

Why I picked it: He totally turned it around on Leonard.

From the episode The Prestidigitation Approximation:

5. Penny: Oh, big deal. Not knowing is part of the fun.

Sheldon: “Not knowing is part of the fun.” Was that the motto of your community college?

Why I picked it: Sheldon is the king of burns.

From the episode The Colonization Application:

4. Sheldon: I’m exceedingly smart. I graduated college at fourteen. While my brother was getting an STD, I was getting a Ph.D. Penicillin can’t take this away.

Why I picked it: In just a few sentences, Sheldon manages to brag about himself while letting slip something about his family that they might not want outsiders to know about. Being the socially inept person that he is, Sheldon is not at all phased by the outburst. He only sees it as something he accomplishes and that is hilarious.

From the episode The Gorilla Experiment:

3. Sheldon: Why are you crying?

Penny: Because I’m stupid.

Sheldon: That’s no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Why I picked it: Sheldon thinks he is comforting Penny, when he is actually insulting here. It’s just classic Sheldon.

From the episode The Justice League Recombination:

2. Zack: You know, I saw this great thing on the Discovery Channel. Turns out if you kill a starfish it’ll just come back to life.

Sheldon: Was the starfish wearing boxer shorts? Because you might have been watching Nickelodeon.

Why I picked it: The Spongebob reference had me in stitches.

From the episode The Pants Alternative:

1. Penny: So what do you say Sheldon, are we your X-men?

Sheldon: No, the X-men were named for the X in Charles Xavier. Since I am Sheldon Cooper, you will be my C-men.

Why I picked it: Only Sheldon could say that and not realize what it sounds like.


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