Since I am doing a quotes list, I decided that each character will get two lists. One for funny quotes and the other for more touching, sentimental quotes. These quotes were picked by me by using the quotes section on the Big Bang Theory’s website. These are not a reflection of the fan base, just me.
10. Penny: You wanna turn yourself into some sort of robot?
Sheldon: Essentially, yes.
Penny: Okay, here’s my question: Didn’t you already do that?
Why I Picked It: I’m sure a lot of people wanted to ask Sheldon the same thing.
9. Penny: Sheldon, that’s not what girlfriends are for. Although you don’t use them for what they’re for, so what do I know?
Why I Picked It: Sheldon made Penny question herself.
8. Leonard: What am I supposed to do?
Penny: Err, keep your mouth off other women.
Why I Picked It: Penny got Leonard there.
7. Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.
Why I Picked It: It’s funny and I’m sure Sheldon has no idea what she means.
6. Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don’t kill him in his sleep, he wins.
Why I Picked It: Because it’s true.
5. Raj: Ooo.
Penny: What’s the matter, Lassie? Did Timmy fall down the well?
Why I Picked It: I’ve used that line before and it never gets old.
4. *Wolowitz checks his Caller ID*.
Wolowitz: Ooh, looks like I’m gonna have sex tonight. (answers) Hey, baby…
Penny: His right hand is calling him?
Why I Picked It: Penny always owns Wolowitz.
3. Penny: I finally realize I don’t need to be famous or have some big career to be happy.
Leonard: Well what do you need?
Penny: You, you stupid Poptart.
Why I Picked It: That whole scene is both funny and cute.
2. Leonard: Once you open the box it loses its value.
Penny: Yeah, yeah. My mom gave me the same lecture about my virginity. I gotta tell you, it was a lot more fun taking it out and playing with it.
Why I Picked It: It was a line I didn’t expect and was very funny.
1. Sheldon: Now remember, you were given powerful pain medication and a muscle relaxer, so don’t operate heavy machinery, and try not to choke on your own drool.
*Sheldon is about to leave.*
Penny: Wait! You have to help me get into bed. (laughs) “Sheldon has to help me get into bed”. Bet you thought I’d never say that!
Sheldon: Yes. Charmed. Your drug-addled candour knows no bounds.
*Sheldon follows her to her room after shutting the door. He pulls down the covers to help Penny into bed.*
Penny: You know people think you are this weird robot man who’s so annoying all the time and you totally are. But then it’s like that movie Wall-E at the end. You’re so full of love and you can save a plant and get fat people out of their floaty chairs.
Sheldon: That’s a fairly laboured metaphor but I appreciate the sentiment behind it.
Penny: Sing ‘Soft Kitty’ to me.
Sheldon: ‘Soft kitty’ is for when you’re sick, you’re not sick.
Penny: Injured and drugged is a kind of sick.
Sheldon: (sitting on the bed next to her) Soft Kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur…
Penny: Wait wait. Let’s sing it as a round. I’ll start. Soft Kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur… *Sheldon doesn’t join in.*
Penny: So that is when you come in. I’ll start over. Soft Kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur… Still nothing from Sheldon.
Penny: I’ve got all night Sheldon. *She starts again.*
Penny: Soft Kitty, warm kitty…
Sheldon: Soft Kitty, warm kitty… *They both sing the entire song together.*
Why I Picked It: Penny/Sheldon moments are always funny.