Should We Expect Grandkids To Hug Us If They Don’t Want To?

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grandkids

There are few things in life that rate higher than an unsolicited hug from your grandkids. Likewise, the other side is a rejected hug. 

It’s hard to live far away from our grandkids. Even though our grandkids don’t know you, doesn’t mean they don’t have to show you affection.

However, this generation of parents is uncomfortable about asking little Johnny to hug grandma. It seems that folded arms, for this generation, is a line parents don’t feel comfortable crossing.

At first, I really didn’t understand where this was coming from. However, Megan Fox explains the origins. 

Megan Fox writes:

“It’s very chic right now to pass around articles written by nearly hysterical women about teaching kids about their bodies and boundaries by letting them give Grandma the middle finger when she wants a hug because…rape.”

“Seriously, there are columnists waxing nearly apoplectic if anyone suggests that their little darlings ought to be “forced” to give Grandma a hug, which is equated to non-consensual sex. What is this fresh hell and why am I the one who has to point out the absurdity of this new philosophy?”

“Am I the only one left who sees this as madness?”

“I’m not sure when mothers started equating grandparents with child molesters, but this is a ridiculous jump. (Unless one of your parents is a child molester, and I’m assuming you would know this by the time you had children and make damn sure your kids don’t have any contact with them at all.) But I’m not talking about those people.”

“I’m talking about your dear parents who raised you, loved you, paid for your college, bailed you out of jail, let you live in their basement past 30 and simply would like some affection from their grandchildren in return. Those people. You know, the ones who never abused you a day in your life? These are the people we are talking about, not strangers off the street or even a creepy uncle, but your PARENTS.”

Fox goes on to explain that teaching children all about “good touch” and “bad touch” is all well and good. So it’s time to plant Grandma’s kisses firmly in the “good touch” soil. There is an important lesson that seems to be lost, Fox says, in hugging Grandma–even when they don’t want to.

Giving affection when it makes someone else happy, is a good thing to do. This is a concept lost in our culture.

When we are dealing with our grandchildren, it’s natural for us to want them to love us willingly. It doesn’t always feel right to expect a hug from someone that doesn’t want to give it. However, we are talking about children. Not adults.

It’s ok for them to learn to love.

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